slow down....finally

Hey Everyone!

I am back...its been a while. But today i have been inspired to write a little update. I sure do like writing (except if its for a research paper)....but mostly i just like to share what i am learning. I am not a huge blogger so i dont expect anyone to read this, haha..but i thought i would at least remind myself what God is teaching me. So here it goes....

These last few months have been somewhat of a blur, yet very real and...intense you could say. Not intense in a bad way, but a period of realizing a lot, yet not understanding anything. haha....i know that doesn't even make sense, but to me it does.

This period of my life is a very changing period. I am 24 years old, I am getting my masters, preparing for a marriage, and trying to get involved with mission activites within the community. I came from a great family, good church in which many ladies and couples poured into me and God really used them to shape me, to help me to stand on my own, yet still encouraged me to be dependant on the Lord. Wow- what a concept. I will pause here for a moment....

God is amazing and this last year teaching me so much, though i fail everyday it feels like i find that the more i think i know, the less i actually do. Haha. However, I do know- that His ways are better, and that if i DONT depend and listen to Him, then my life and witness is useless. I cannot be a godly woman, future wife, coworker, niece, daughter and friend if i am not in the word, if i am not looking to my source for strength and wisdom.

I dont want to do life on my own, as if i know anything...life is so much better when i am on my knees than when i am demanding for others to look and listen to me. God has been so good to me, and through periods of my life where i wasn't sure to look to- He was my guide, and i am so blessed and thankful that the Holy Spirit speaks to us and that we are made to be sensitivie to that....wow, i am so blessed and experience blessings i never thought i would. I am being challenged and broken and filled up by our amazing God. God is using situtations and people in my life to show me what it means to wholeheartedly follow after Christ- and that although the task is not "world" friendly, it is so much better and so worth it.

I love how the Lord continues to mold us- sometimes i wish i was in another stage of life than where i am (aka--done with school), but God is strangly preparing me in more ways than one. May i forever be praising HIM- the only one who deserves it, and my prayer is that my life would be a testimony of who Christ is! So many people do not understand this strange concept of "take up your cross and follow me..." It is not normal. This message is odd and strange to the world. This doesn't make sense. Even most Christians do not understand this concept- we still live for ourselves every day- we still are selfish in our hearts and constantly allow ourselves to take over, but so thankful for Jesus Christ who loves us and draws us to himself.

ok- well i know i ramble- hah. But just on a every day note, life has been so busy these last few months. Of course school work has overtaken my life! ha. But outside of that Anthony and I are planning our wedding and really excited! He and i have had some amazing talks about where God is taking us and what God is teaching us. We have grown so much and we are blessed. He is my best friend and i can't imagine life without him. We are counting down the days until we get to say "I do..." but have also been so thankful for this time to sit back and evaluate who we are in Christ and also who we are to each other!