Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Catching up...

Dear Diary,

NOT! I have been wanting to do a blog for a long time...I actually like to write and sometimes better at it rather than talking. So, even if nobody reads it, it still satisfies my desire to "get things out"..haha

Well, as most of you know i have moved up here to Fort Worth and now studying at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. I started my program in counseling, thinking that would be a perfect fit for me, but a year later i hit the hard reality that this is not REALLY what i wanted to do for the rest of my life. I just don't care to be paid or "licensed" to tell people what to do. I really enjoy talking to people and have a burden and passion to hear people's stories and struggles and to pray for them and pray that some words of wisdom from the Lord come out of my mouth. I would like to live life with people and pursue the Lord and tell people all about how He has saved me and changed me and continues to mold me. I am so very blessed in my life to have a relationship with Jesus Christ and desire for all to know this satisfaction! Anyways...So after praying and turning over questions in my head and thinking of the good and bad of changing my degree program, i just finally gave it to the Lord. After my first semester of Seminary (which was very very difficult for me emotionally) i had come to a passion to think about ministry overseas. I never wanted to say it outloud too much because if you say it out loud, people hold you accountable with that and then you HAVE to go...ha. So, i just prayed about it, prayed that the Lord would confirm and lead me. And He did in numerous ways. So, i said, "ok God....lets go!" I changed my degree program to missiology and not 3 days later i get an email saying that the School is taking away the Counseling program at Southwestern....hmmmm...another confirmation for me...

So.... at this point in my life, my friend Katelyn and I had a good talk yesterday that spurred me onto some thoughts of thankfulness to our God! We got to talking about all the things the Lord has brought us through and all that He has taught us.... I was seriously amazed at how His hands have protected me, and guided me, and rescued me. God has had everything orchestrated so perfectly in my life and HE knew the outcome- when i didn't. I remember several moments when i would cry because i wasn't sure why something was happening, but God did- and we walked me through with a plan all along- a plan to grow and sustain me, a plan that would shape the woman i was to become, and still becoming...

So far in 23...almost 24 years, i have yet to say i have any regrets in my life!(katelyn and i were talking about this too...) The best thing that could happen to me is having tough times, is having moments when i cannot do it on my own, when everything seems to be crumbling. The Lord holds me and sooths me-- i love this! But also, the Lord has blessed me like i could have never imagined!

Well....i blubber so sorry if this is too long...this is the good thing about a blog-you can write as much as you want!

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